Yes, I am that...

Christmas and holidays can be many different things for all of us, often not quite like this flower in her simplicity of presence.

'Things' can easily get tangled, and that then requires sorting. The flower though gives a hint. She is not self-conscious, looking at herself from the outside. Not comparing nor exasperated at her present condition. Beside her sits a 'less' handsome flower, an older one, and a bud just beginning. They sit on their own real estate, a bit of dirt, and all is well. No comments on the passing of time.

Our outside life is just that, outside, it is the inner that needs our attention and care. The deep 'mind' below that crazy painful thinking is mostly unknown. It’s felt at times when we relinquish some cherished ideal of what we absolutely need to survive. Then there’s that mental release, a wonderful spaciousness. A peace descends. It's truly lovely when we can say 'no' to that thought or judgement and watch as it becomes, well, not much. This is a satisfying gift, before we elbow in, demanding to feel something of value to the outside world. 

But if this 'no' becomes a bit stronger, letting us feel the roots of the peace, taste the openness, there begins something real, fresh, an abiding faithfulness to us being more than our thoughts. To step outside, away from the argument and the lights, into the night to feel the strange embrace of darkness and we become oriented again.

I think the big thing is to know the point of our life, the 'yes'.  That will become the guide, the orientation, the delight. Some huge leap of our intuitive knowing needs to be allowed though. It is not a brain thing, but the whole of us. The deep mind knows. Give her room.

In the middle of the Northern winter, imagine the wise men, traveling the quiet hills under the stars in the deep dark, knowing, feeling the stirring within, that there is a change in the air, something different in the energy of the world, the life force all around.  Looking up to the star they follow, they know that they must follow this. There is no conversation no “But I will miss dinner” or “I haven’t got a torch”. They go, led by what is being called within. This is surely what it feels like to know the birth of hope in our hearts with its innocence and fearlessness. 

As a child enters the world.

As I enter my new family,

May they be delighted

At how their kindness

Comes into blossom.

Unknown to me and them,

May I be exactly the one

To restore in their forlorn places

New vitality and promise.

May the hearts of others

Hear again the music

In the lost echoes

Of their neglected wonder.

If my destiny is sheltered

May the grace of this privilege

Reach and bless the other infants

Who are destined for torn places.

If my destiny is bleak 

May I find in myself 

A secret stillness

And tranquility

Beneath the turmoil.

May my eyes never lose sight

Of why I have come here,

That I may never be claimed

By the falsity of fear

Or eat the bread of bitterness.

In everything I do, think,

Feel, and say,

May I allow the light

Of the world I am leaving

To shine through and carry me home

John O'Donohue